Today was Day 2 of ConnectEd Canada (#ConnectEdCA). My brain is swirling with incredible ideas, conversations, personal narratives. My takeaway from the last two days is reinforcing the idea of finding meaning through the relationships that you build.

In every session I’ve attended today, as well as the speakers from yesterday, there was some degree of discussion about connecting to other people…

• Intentionally making everything you do personal.
• Sharing yourself.
• Trusting those around you enough to share what is most meaningful to you.
• Building and nurturing relationships, both in person and virtually through social media.

Tom Fullerton talked this morning about “teaching from the inside out.” He asked those of us in his session to reflect on practitioner research, making professional development meaningful and personal for educators, and helping educators become “translucent cocoons.” When you are transparent in your own learning as a teacher, the process should be visible while it’s occurring.

Rodd Lucier and Zoe Branigan-Pipe shared experiences from Unplug’d 2011. Again, so much of the discussion centered around nurturing relationships and trust in those relationships. I really loved hearing the stories about the Unplug’d event and how great it was to unplug from “the world”  for an extended weekend… but then continuing those stories once they plugged back in. You can learn more about it here: http://unplugd.ca/ 

It’s so interesting to me that many people I know only in face-to-face situations hassle me about my relationships that are mostly online. I often hear, “but those people aren’t your REAL friends” or “don’t you think that social media is superficial? Aren’t we just ‘liking’ and ‘friending’ our way into not having to deal with people face-to-face? What about social skills?”  I try to explain how social media can enhance a relationship that might not happen otherwise. Some of my most treasured friendships started with people I met on Twitter. I am working in a school of my dreams because of Twitter!

So it fascinates me that the most repeated phrases of this education conference have been about creating relationships and sharing yourself with others… and continuing to cultivate those relationships through some type of social media after the conference ends. The people here get that, and I feel so grateful and lucky to be here. I flew all the way to Canada to connect with people that I had only met on Twitter. With the exception of George Couros (whom I had met on Twitter before meeting in person at EduCon in 2011), I hadn’t met anyone else in person until Thursday evening.

Most importantly, perhaps, is what this all speaks about teaching and learning. As educators, we must work diligently to create caring relationships with students, parents, community, and each other:

• sharing our successes, as well as our failures
• building trust
• creating a safe environment where we can share our personal narratives
• holding each other accountable
• working together to celebrate our common goals AND diversity

I’ve been watching and reading with great interest the number of tweets and blog posts regarding standardized testing, opting out, refusing to pander, etc. The conversations with Lee Kolbert and Will Richardson were the ones to trigger my blog post. You can read their posts here:

Will Richardson – A Pep Rally for Tests? What We Need is a ‘Prep’ Rally

Lee Kolbert – Dear Will Richardson

Will Richardson – Opting Out (with comments thread)

 

Will often advocates for more revolutionary action from public school teachers, as well as parents. Lee counters with the fact that many teachers’ hands are tied, and that it’s more difficult to be revolutionary when you’re actually IN the classroom.

My thoughts and questions:

• When is it the right time to stop abusing kids in the classroom with testing? Yes, in its current state, it IS abuse.
• Standardized testing is not the only “evil” in public education. Scripted teaching, mile-wide and inch-deep curricula, and standardized expectations (i.e., all kids need the exact same education) are crippling our students’ potential.
• Corporate takeover of public education via charters or other options is a travesty and will be the demise of a free education for all. Think I’m overly dramatic? Read what’s happening in Philadelphia.
• When it is worth sacrificing your job to stand up for what you believe?

POINT

Nothing is going to significantly change in public education unless it comes from parents, students, and educators. 

These are the greatest numbers of people, yet they are the ones whose voices are not being heard. Politicians, corporate big-wigs, and people with power (read here: money) are the ones making the decisions. The few are leading the many, and the “few” in this case are the least informed about what is best for the education of children. It’s time for the many to take a stand, make themselves heard, and put the power back where it belongs.

This cannot happen unless parents opt their students out of standardized testing and demand changes to curriculum, standards, etc. This cannot happen if students are not given opportunities to share how they learn best and voice their own needs and wants. This cannot happen if educators stand by passively (or silently) and continue to do what they’re directed to do… even when they know what they’re doing is not in the students’ best interests and can do more harm than good.

This cannot happen unless parents, students, and educators support each other in this endeavor.

For educators, what does that mean? Refuse to follow the law? Disregard the directions from the superintendent/school board? Or might it be a calling to activism at the state and federal levels to change the laws? All of these options can (and usually do) create huge risks for public school educators.

COUNTERPOINT

For every point I made above, I also feel torn with “yeah, buts.”

Parents’ rights are often negated by local, state, and federal legislation. Some school districts have required internal, state, and/or national standardized tests for graduation. To appeal this requirement takes time and, too often, money. Many parents don’t even realize they have rights to oppose what is being done to their children or to opt out of these requirements. There are parents who believe that regular standardized testing is good for their kids, because of the amount of misinformation they’ve been fed for so long.

Children have little to no say in their own education: how they learn best, what they WANT to learn, etc. Throughout their K-12 education, they will be told what to learn, when to learn, how to learn, and how to demonstrate what they have learned. For most students, the idea of revolting is not even a glimmer in their eyes. The definition of school has become something that is DONE to kids. You suffer through it, so that you can move on and begin your real life. For those who would consider speaking up for themselves, it is not worth their efforts to demand better. Fear of reprisal is too great. They may be threatened with punishment or that they won’t be allowed to graduate. Why rock the boat when so much is at stake?

Educators are really stuck between a rock and a hard place. Those who have not invested many years in a school district usually leave. They head for private schools with fewer mandates or to areas outside education. They leave mostly unscathed. The majority of educators, however, have their hands tied. How many people can afford to quit their jobs on principle? And what about the educators who have decades invested in a state retirement system? They are truly stuck. Their retirement is based on years of employment in that state. Moving away or, for some, even out of a specific school district would result in a considerable loss of income after retirement. How can these people be boat rockers when the public education system essentially holds them hostage?

My reflection:

I feel the pain on both sides of the arguments. Many of my friends in public education all around the US are stuck where they are because they can’t afford to leave their jobs or move elsewhere.  They feel helpless, so they do their best to help their students in spite of the requirements. They hold testing pep rallies. They dedicate hundreds of hours finding ways to make the best of situations out of their control. They need our support, not our criticism.

However…

When has it gone too far? When it is a moral/ethical obligation to speak up and say, “no more!”

Because I was in a place in my life where I could pick up and move, I was able to find a school I felt valued the needs and wants of children in their education. I left the public school system last year to teach in a private school where the rights of students and families are not only considered, but valued. Everyday, I go to school knowing that I have the opportunity to help my students learn in an environment that encourages them to grow as individuals. (Shouldn’t kids in public schools have the same opportunities?)

I know that there are many who are not exactly in a place to do what I did…or who have the guts to start their own school,  BUT…

As an educator, it should be our role to advocate for the rights of students. If we don’t do what’s right for kids, we’re no better than the ones making the poor decisions. My friend, Jackie Gerstein, posted a photo of a Desmond Tutu quote tonight: If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. What is happening today in public education is nothing less than injustice for the children of this country.

When is it the right time for us to do something about that?

Sorry, Ron Clark. You don’t speak for me.

Ron Clark, a Disney Teacher of the Year and Oprah’s pick for “Phenomenal Man,” wrote this article on CNN titled, “What teachers really want to tell parents.”

One of the gems from this article:

If we give you advice, don’t fight it. Take it, and digest it in the same way you would consider advice from a doctor or lawyer.

Don’t fight it? Okay, I can deal with that… but it almost sounds as if he is telling parents not to question his advice.  The entire article, in my opinion, comes off as arrogant and condescending to parents.  One sub-title in the article is about the only view I found we had in common, and that was asking parents to become partners with teachers/educators.

Here’s the main problem that I have with an article like this… and I know a lot of my friends agreed with the article, retweeting, posting on Facebook, and shouting out an “Amen” after reading it. Please don’t take this as a personal attack. Hear me out first.

I am a teacher AND a parent. I am extremely fortunate to have been able to see both perspectives for nearly 20 years. My oldest daughter just earned her Bachelor’s degree, and my youngest just entered her freshman year at university. For me, the experience as a parent has made me a much better teacher. I’m constantly reminded by my own children that they are more than the scores they receive on tests, their good or not so good behavior on a day to day basis, and much more than the personalities they exhibit during school hours and school activities.

Here’s a thought: why not invite parents to be partners? Sure, some aren’t going to react the way we would like, but why start off on opposites sides? We’re doing that at Anastasis Academy, where I’m now happily teaching. Happy parents + happy teachers= better opportunities for kids.

I wrote the previous paragraph in a response to a Facebook post by a friend. I received a reply from another reader. He said (and I’m paraphrasing) that inviting parents as partners is more about making parents feel good, but it’s all talk and not really feasible. They should support the experts (educators) and leave it at that.

This is exactly the type of arrogance that creates an Us vs Them environment for parents… and since when are PARENTS not the experts of their own children?!?

I used an analogy to respond. When I walk into a doctor’s office, I expect the doctor to listen to what I have to say is going on with my health. I know and trust the doctor to make the best diagnosis she can, but I also know that she can’t do that completely without me being specific about what is going on. She’s the medical expert, but I’m the one living day to day with my own health issues. If she doesn’t listen to me at all, I’m not going to be able to get better. Likewise, if I don’t listen to her and follow her suggestions, I’m not going to get better either.

Caring teachers invite parents into a community of learners. When parents feel that their thoughts and opinions matter, they are more likely to be involved in helping their children succeed in school.  I am SO amazingly blessed to be in a school where we all are part of this community. Parents, teachers, and students are working together to do what’s best for kids.

I know the world isn’t always perfect, and I have also had experiences where parents wanted nothing to do with their child’s education. I’ve been physically and legally threatened by parents.  Some have given me more advice than I ever wanted or needed… but in the end, it has always been easier (and much, much better for the child involved) to treat parents with dignity and grace. Copping an attitude of  “well, I’m the expert and you’d better just deal with it” has never fixed any problem and only serves to drive a larger wedge between parents and teachers.

In a time where educators are taking the blame for much of society’s problems, why on earth would we want to alienate parents or make them feel like their opinions about their children are not worth our time? Parents are the best advocates we educators have!

So here’s what I want to tell parents:

1. I promise I will care about your child.

2. I promise I will listen to your concerns about your child.

3. You are your child’s first teacher. You have a lot of influence in your child’s learning… more influence than I will have.

4. I promise that I will not believe everything your child says about things going on at home. 🙂  AND- if your child tells you about activities at school, I promise that, together, we will all discuss what happened, as well as how your child perceives those events. As a mom, I know those things sometimes can be misconstrued, but I also understand that teachers don’t always know exactly what happened either.

5. As a certified educator, I promise to provide the very best education I can for your child. And if you have questions about what we’re doing, I will be more than happy to talk to you about that.

As a parent, I wish that more teachers had really listened to what I wanted to tell them about my children.  I can tell you that my kids succeeded in classes where the teachers remembered a) that they were CHILDREN, and b) that as their parent, I could help them understand my children. Those who chose to go the route of “only teacher knows best” were lousy teachers, and my kids have carried baggage from those experiences into their adulthood.  I promise that will not happen with my students.

Another school year is here. New school. New students. I met some of the students from our school at a get-together last Sunday, but not all of them. I’m so looking forward to meeting them all on Monday!

In a discussion earlier today with another teacher, I mentioned that, early in my teaching career, I viewed the children in my classroom, regardless of age, as my “students.” Granted, I was young and only 4 years older than some of the oldest students at that particular school… but I really kept that teacher/student professional distance that I was warned about. “Draw that line between you and your students” was pounded into my head over and over in my teacher undergrad methods classes.

For me, it wasn’t until my own daughters started school that I started to really think differently. When they became “students,” I wanted their teachers to think of them as more than just students. These were precious gifts I was entrusting to them. I wanted my daughters’ teachers to care about them as individuals, not just as “students.”

As a teacher, that thinking changed EVERYTHING for me. When I returned to teaching in 2009, 445 students became MY kids, too. Learning their names and learning styles wasn’t enough. I needed to know about their passions, their hopes, their fears, their strengths. I needed to remember that each one of those children was someone’s pride and joy… that, even on days when they were not always exactly likable, that I cared enough about them to do what was best.

This year, someone else is teaching some of my kids at that school in Omaha. I moved away, and I miss them terribly. But there’s a new school now with new faces. I will have far fewer names to learn, but my goals are the same. These students will become my kids very soon. I will care about them as the special individuals they are. We’ll learn about each other, respect each other, and become a community together. And when we run into each other at the grocery store, the mall, or the movie theater, I will introduce them as my kids, not my students.

I know that might seem trivial to some… or maybe even just differing terminology for the same definition. But to me, it has made a huge difference in teaching. These aren’t just some other people’s kids in my classroom; they’re mine now, too. How lucky we are as educators to be blessed by all the many children whose lives touch ours!